Do I look fine? Am I clever enough? Do people like me? These are questions that everyone asks themselves from time to time. However, if you often find that the answer is a ‘no’, you might have to look at boosting your self-esteem.
Self-esteem is that abstract picture we have of ourselves and that we sometimes don’t like; in other words, it’s the way we feel about ourselves. There’s global and situational self-esteem and interestingly we are not born with it- we learn it! That’s why it’s within our power to change and boost our self-esteem.
When we negatively evaluate ourselves, our whole body, emotions and thinking are affected. We take everything personally and our way of seeing things becomes narrow. We become self-destructive and our actions become automatic. This is how we get low self-esteem. There are many things that cause low self-esteem, or negative evaluation: problems at work, a traumatic experience, isolation at school, break-ups, and even a bit of weight gain. But again, don’t forget that you can learn how to love yourself and change the way you think about yourself. You may have fallen into feeling this way, but things can change! Here are some ideas to help you along your way:
1. Identify what gives you low self-esteem. Identify what makes you feel low and then start to face up to it. Don’t be scared because there’s an opportunity to improve in everything you do. If you feel down on yourself whilst being at school, start thinking about what’s triggering your low self-esteem. If it’s your colleagues, try to talk to them and ask for their objective point of view. If it’s one of your professors, show them that you’re capable of achieving more and more every day!
2. Develop skills. It’s not only about learning and improving-it’s also about social skills. Learn to voice what you see, make more ‘I’ statements, maintain personal boundaries, and be open-minded in thinking and judging. Learn how to react and choose a constructive way of dealing with problems. Next time you are feeling insecure, don’t slam doors, just raise your hand and share your opinion. Be proud of it because it has an impact on the world!
3. Learn to love yourself. Don’t critique yourself all the time, and don’t be so harsh on yourself. Focus on good things and positive achievements. Practice positive self-talk. Don’t aim for perfection, just be happy with what you do. If you can’t sing, just remind yourself that everyone is unique, stop comparing yourself to others and cheer on your own talents: maybe you’re great at drawing or swimming, right?
4. Recognise reality. Think about what you can change and what you can’t. Why get upset about your height when you can’t change it? Just accept it. However, if you want to change something about your hair, weight or style, then stop talking and start doing. Remember not to fall into the trap of copying celebrities and don’t forget that you are beautiful in your very own way.
5. Accept compliments. Don’t ignore or diminish them. Just absorb and enjoy them. Your partner doesn’t lie when he or she says you’re great. Because you are! Do the same: give only sincere compliments and appreciate people for who they are.
6. Set goals and view mistakes as learning opportunities. Make a list and follow it. If you’re not happy with your cooking skills, try to practice every day. Train your inner voice to praise you for your successes. But don’t be scared of failure, because everyone fails. Next time you burn a cake, don’t punish yourself- you’ll learn how to make a better one in no time!
7. Try new things and do things you enjoy. Experiment, learn new things, explore new places, meet new people, listen to different music, do extreme sports, and change your routine. Think of your future achievements and soon these positive thoughts will add up to your self-esteem.
8. Exercise. Be healthy and this will change not only the way you accept your body, but the way you feel. Be a fresh version of your so called miserable ‘I’. Sport relieves stress and helps you sleep and function better. If you don’t want to spend two hours in the gym, just walk outside and enjoy the nature around you.
9. Make a change. Be a better person, but fight for a better world as well. Help your neighbours, recycle, help your colleagues, tutor or volunteer in your free time, write, or adopt a pet. Have some free time this summer? Then think about work with some disabled children! Do things that are good and you’ll see that you’ll feel good too.
10. Be around people that matter. Don’t hang out with negative people or people that put you down. Why would you care if a bully likes you? Is that really so cool? Find people that don’t have prejudices or are not brain-washed by our society, and do things with and for them. Be with friends and family. Share your love, opinion and talents. You’ll see that in the end you’ll create a social net full of positivity and energy.
Low self-esteem is something we all have experienced that can lead to chronic changes in our behaviour and even to depression. There are many ways to deal with it starting with small changes in our lifestyle. However, we should always be realistic and humble because sometimes too high self-esteem can lead to arrogance and injustice, and I’m sure we don’t want to become what we fear! In short: do the things you love, love yourself, and stay grounded!
Don’t forget that the main cure for low self-esteem is love: love yourself no matter what: if you’re skinny, poor, or not a famous artist, it doesn’t matter. You are just perfect!
Posted on: http://globeoflove.com/humans/10-thoughts-on-dealing-with-low-self-esteem. Thanks, Rashina!