Are you really ready to throw in the towel?
Have the butterflies in your stomach migrated south? If it’s not the same anymore and you find his socks on the floor or her organic dinners annoying, you might start thinking of giving up… But before you throw in the towel, let’s talk about love!
In books, films and songs love is presented as something magical that excites and changes us. But then we look at our reality and we start doing the mathematics of love: unlike all the people on the big screen, we don’t go bungee jumping with our partners very often, we don’t receive love notes on the wings of pigeons and we don’t get exotic mimosas every day. And the end sum is simple: we start having doubts about whether he or she is NOT in love with us. The truth is that we should reconsider.
Sometimes love is not only about being in love. I agree, being in love is one of the most beautiful feelings. It’s close to the primitive joy of the simple (and the most important) fact that you’re alive. It’s a feeling that can lift us on the wings of divine happiness and prove that levitation is possible. However, we can’t be always in love.
Actually being in love is the easy part. Sometimes the beauty of being an adult is finding out secrets that were never taught at school. Being in love is beautiful, but loving unconditionally is way more fascinating. To truly love is to make an effort to not give up on love. It’s even more intimate and divine. Parents don’t give up on their children. Then, why would you give up on your partner just because you’ve lived together for ages? We should try to make love last. If you wake up next to the same person every day, try to enjoy the melody of her/his breathing that you fell in love with at the beginning. If your partner has put on a bit of weight and looks tired after a long day at work, remind yourself it’s not the fancy cover that matters, but the heart that loves you with all your imperfections. If you do the same things every day, well, stop complaining and organise a surprise. If you don’t talk like you used to do before, keep telling yourself that your communication is deeper now and words are even not needed to understand each other. Involve your partner in your worries, friends, routines, and don’t be ashamed of being yourself. People love YOU – not your mask. Be truthful, be spontaneous. If you want to kiss, then kiss!
And if you think you’re bored? Open your eyes and see what actually matters: dance, organise a pillow fight, try to capture the colours of the sunset. Are you ready to throw in the towel over a small fight? Communicate and share, but be respectful! Don’t be aggressive – EVER. Laugh together! Do you feel insecure about the person you love? Ask yourself if this insecurity doesn’t come first from the fact that you don’t love yourself and are projecting this feeling onto the others. Relax, go shopping, exercise, cook, make yourself one with your desires, and then love. You’ll see that only when you love yourself are you capable of loving others.
Being in love is great, but truly, wholeheartedly loving someone is greater! Don’t give up. As the saying goes, “The good mill grinds stones”. Try to keep your memories of being in love alive, but more importantly – try to keep the feeling of secure and calm love alive. Try to sustain your relationship. Be patient, because love is pure happiness based on the simple fact you are one with someone precious. No pressure – just two people being one! Maybe you go to work together, you drink your coffee together, or you watch films together. You might say these are boring things. I agree… to a certain point: they are simple things. But these small things mean everything because you care for someone else’s happiness. So keep your towel, don’t throw it in. Learn to appreciate the little things, and enjoy the feeling of opening yourself up to steady, wholesome love.