One Year, Eternal Happiness: My Mama Journey

Baby & I

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Sense Attack

I like the smell of winter, burning coal. The aroma of your body is lost in the chilling fog. I like the taste of my dark beer. Don’t need your bitter words. I like to look at her. I’ll see your back tomorrow. I like the sound of cars splashing dreams. Silence between us. I…

It’s raining balloons, El

Some things never change. Dissatisfaction, for example. Look at El: It’s like she’s got it all. What’s more, she’s almost managed to get over her trauma… But no! She’s not 100% happy. She smiles but her head does not listen. No boundaries, he said. But are there limits? Searching for a dream. She’s always wanted…

El Likes Burgers

Hamburgers in Hamburg? Nah, El didn’t have enough for that. She booked her ticket the last minute because the sweet taste of their fake love was getting too bitter. She left, cycling in the snow, and her northern adventure started. There he was: there’s always a guy who flirts and offers drinks. Attack! I thought…

Cancelled El

It’s dark and El is back with stories never told. Don’t want to go, tired and upset, prefer to hide in my memories of… Spain. It was her third time in this sunny country, I believe. El had to go on a spontaneous trip to escape from him, a monster from the past. After her…

El habla ingles

Wine and beer, tap-tap-tap, trying to give a direction to my bla-blah-blAg. Memoirs, blurs. Pictures, no discs. Words, friends. Not sure how my keyboards took me there. El is myself. And although it’s narcissistic to talk in third person, need to distant myself from my memories because will get lost in time lapse. So, she’s…

Threatening El

“I’ll write a poem.” “What a threat!”, he said El wanted to express her anger, lost direction, and despair. But then they laughed, and here we go. Instead of sad words: her photo journey through the best memories in life (after giving birth, of course). The travel of marriage/shared life has taught El, myself, and…

Free El

And there we go – another journey through time. Really? Sand? In November? During her stay in the US, El enjoyed lots of stuff. The American dream, they say. Not sure if the whole dream thing is real… or just a myth, but for sure – nature is dreamy everywhere. Freeman park, NC, is not…

El in Ice Wonderland

“Where’s my camera?” And the story of El and her travels through time and space takes my typing fingers and the clouds of memory back to 2013… when she turned 1/4 of a century.¬†As El was living in tidy Munich – finishing her untidy Master’s degree and closing a scary book of fake love –…

The Thoughts and the Otter

It comes and goes. Deadly thoughts. I’m an otter, you’re an author. Who’s more successful? Honestly, don’t care. Health and love, the only things that matter; so if you want, call me old-fashioned, or stupidly lost. But then again, it comes and goes. And when we laugh, l see the image of him taking his…

Late Halloween Guests

Knock, knock! – Friends, come in. Fragile delusions, dine with me. Indecision, please, have more coffee. Old fears, thank you for the cake. Oh, strong emotions, put your coat in there. – Only you, baby beauty, stay away from this early mental madness. But head, let’s shake these guests with a smile. In the end,…

I adore you

I can’t believe how gorgeous you are. Just perfect. More beautiful than me. Soft, gentle, real. So much energy, curiosity and laugh, things I’ve lost in the maze of my routine. And the love in his eyes can’t compare to any feeling in the world, probably only the love in my daddy’s heart is close…